We are continuing in our series of ’40 Days of Real Relationships with God’s Love.’ This week we are looking at the phrase in 1 Corinthians 13, ‘Love IS kind.’ The bible says that we need to be kind.
What is kindness? Kindness is love in action. Last week Bruce said love is not a feeling. It is something you do. It creates feelings. It produces feelings, enormous emotions, but love is not a feeling, it is an action. It is a belief that you put in your behaviour. The bible says that love is kindness in action.
I was passing through a shop door recently and saw a woman approaching me laden down with bags. I held the door open for her. And she turned to me and said, 'How kind of you!' It set me wondering - what does it mean to be kind? What do you think it means to be kind?
If someone helped an unsighted person cross the road, would you think of them as kind? If someone looked after a stray animal, would you think of them as kind? If someone found your lost diary and returned it to you, would you think of that person as kind? I suspect we would see each of these acts as acts of kindness. And I suspect might well think of ourselves as kind people. We don't beat people up, kick animals, steal from others, or bully our neighbours; we are basically kind.
At an away weekend during my training one of my peers told a story about his childhood vicar and one of the parishioners. A story that has stayed with him and me. This vicar is in the habit of being the last person to leave the Church building after service on Sunday. He likes to make sure that all the books are back in place, the lights turned off and the kneelers neatly tucked away; everything ready for the service, the following week. One particular morning, as he put the key in the door he noticed one of his parishioners sitting on the bench just outside the Church. He took the time to sit beside him. 'Is there anything wrong, Charlie?' he asked as he sat down beside him. 'I don't know', said Charlie, 'I've being coming here for more than a year now but I don't think I belong'. 'Why ever not?' asked the Vicar. 'The people who go to your Church, they're nice enough but they don't care much about me; I don't think it would matter whether I came to Church or not'. 'Oh that's not true, Charlie, the people here are good, kind people; they really like having you among them'. 'I don't see it', said Charlie, 'I think I'm going to give the whole thing up'.
Well, I'm not sure what Charlie had in mind when he used the word kindness, I wonder if it was something to do with the fruit of the Spirit; Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness and Self Control. Love produces Love, which produce Joy etc. etc.
What does it mean to be kind? It means, first of all, not repaying evil with evil, or abuse with abuse. No, if you want to be kind, ‘bless’. To be kind, is to give a blessing. It's quite powerful stuff, because, in the Hebrew tradition, to bless is to give somebody the power for life. It is not a matter of holding doors open or returning lost diaries, which are all good and we should continue to do them - it is about giving someone the power for life. It is, at its most basic, the provision of food, clothing, housing, medical care, work - but it is so much more than that: blessing is making sure that another person reaches out towards their fuller potential. Now that's a far cry from the common or garden variety of what we mean by kindness. To be kind is to bless - to be kind is help another person become who they really are. And that is not an easy call.
I was telling you that story about Charlie, the man who had decided not to come back to Church. A few days after the conversation the Vicar rang Charlie and asked him if it would be alright if he came round to talk the issue through. Charlie said 'fine'. So there they were sitting around the kitchen table with mugs of coffee and the Vicar tried again, 'Charlie, the people at our Church are kind people, they really do care about you'. 'Do they?' asked Charlie. 'Certainly, they do!' With that Charlie jumped up from his chair and returned to the table with a pad of paper and a pen. 'I want names', he said, 'who are these people that you call kind?' 'You want names?' asked the Vicar rather timidly. 'I do', replied Charlie emphatically, 'who are these kind people, write down their names. Better still, would you be willing to put your name on the list? Are we willing to write our names down?'
The Reading that was read earlier is the story of the Good Samaritan and it is a famous story. A story we have all heard many times. Jesus tells this story of three men who are travelling on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho, which is a notoriously bad road known for muggers and thieves. The three men encounter a crime scene. Each of them responds to the crime scene in a different way. Jesus says these three men represent our three choices in life. Jesus says we are going to go through life with one of three attitudes towards the people around you, particularly the people in pain.
The first attitude is called ‘Keep My Distance’ attitude. Luke 10:33-31 says this ‘A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away. Leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.’ I’m going to keep my distance, avoidance. Don’t ever get close to people because they might ask for help, or you might be needed by them. Keep all your relationships superficial, keep them shallow, keep people at arm’s length. If you get close, you might get involved. And you could get hurt. The priest saw the man beaten, mugged and left for dead but he just said I’ll keep my distance, it’s nothing to do with me and walks on the other side of the road.
The second attitude is called ‘Curious but Uninvolved’. ‘So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.’ The Levite walks across the street, sees this victim lying there, beaten, naked, laying there half dead, looks at him – stares at him – walks back to the other side and keep on walking. I wonder if we have ever done that? What about road accidents on the motorway? Traffic always slows down with an accident because of the gawkers. We want to stare. What’s happening over there? Did anybody get hurt? But does anybody want to stop? No. We want to stare but not stop. This is the curious but not involved. Have you noticed that it is easier to gossip about people’s problems than it is to help them with it? We love ready the advice/gossip columns. We overhear someone talking about someone else’s misfortune but we don’t want to go and see the person to find out if we can help. But we want to listen, we want to know all about what’s going on. Curious but Uninvolved. Aware but apathetic.
The third attitude is the response of the Good Samaritan. ‘Treat others How I Want to be Treated.’ ‘But a Samaritan came where the man was, and when he saw him, he took pity on him.’ If we want to grow in love – and that’s is what we are talking about these 40 days, how to build authentic relationships, then we are going to have to learn the lifestyle of kindness. To The Samaritan: He was a Neighbour to Love. He dared to act as a concerned individual, in three specific ways. He Showed Compassion 10:33. “He took pity on him.”This word means much more than passing pity. The original has with it the connotation of being deeply moved inside. It is the word used to describe the way the Lord feels about lost sinners. Compassion describes the way God feels about us. When we show compassion we are merely demonstrating our family likeness. He showed compassion. He took the Initiative 10:34 “He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him.” The Samaritan could have excused himself. He was a foreigner in a hostile country. He was alone and vulnerable, but Agape, God's love does not look for excuses, it looks beyond obstacles. It does not ask why, but why not? The Samaritan cleansed the victims wounds with wine and soothed them with oil. He bound up the wounds so they would begin to heal. He took the man to the inn to recover and promised to return to pay the bill. The Samaritan took the initiative. He demonstrated compassion and, thirdly He Bore the Cost 10:35 “The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'” He interrupted his schedule to help this man. It may have made him late for a business appointment, it may have delayed him from seeing his family. But he paid the cost. What did he have to gain from this personally? Nothing - except the joy and strength that come when you do God's will. When you serve in love without expecting recognition or reward. What did the Samaritan show? Compassion, initiative, sacrifice. Jesus said, "Which of these three do you think was a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" (Luke 10:36)
So who is my neighbour? In this present economic climate, I suspect that there will be at least one family we know which has a member who is out of work. I suspect that there is someone or a family living in your road perhaps struggling with debt, drugs or alcohol abuse, illness of any kind, single parent, poverty, the hooded teenager, a victim of crime. I also suspect that fear may well stop us from becoming involved. We have all read in newspapers about a good Samaritan going to help a victim and becoming a victim themselves. It’s hard, it’s difficult, especially if we are struggling with something ourselves to be Kind. It’s risky and costly, in time or financially. But Love IS kind. Jesus teaches that we cannot separate our relationship with God from our responsibility toward those he brings across our path. We can not identify those we want to be a neighbour to and those we can ignore. The question is not ‘to whom need I be a neighbour?’ But rather ‘what kind of neighbour am I?’ - to anyone I meet? Jesus has been kind to us. And the Bible says that kindness is an act of worship, it honours God, and makes you happy and attractive and it makes other people want to be kind to you.
I would like to invite us to join a revolution this week. And that is to break the spiral of fear and hate in our community with acts of compassion and mercy, especially toward those who are different, those who are the outsiders, those who are the strangers. Whoever the Lord brings across our path. Our assignment from Jesus is really very simple: “Go and do likewise.” (Luke 10:37) Let’s go and give a blessing. I’d like to invite you to follow me in this prayer right now. Just in your heart, say this in your mind: ‘
Dear God, thank you for your extravagant kindness to me. You sent Jesus to die for me. I’m so grateful for that. Father, I don’t want to be cruel or an apathetic person. I want to be more loving. Help me to take the steps towards kindness today. Help me to slow down and start seeing and sensing the needs of people around me. Give a Spiritual radar. Help me to be a better listener so I can sympathise with people. When interruptions come, help me to see them as opportunities to grow in kindness, to be more loving. Help me to be willing to take risks and move against my fears in order to help others. Starting today, I am making myself available to You to be used, to show Your kindness and love to others. In Your name, I pray. Amen.
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