Welcome to the fifth in a series called “Living Real Relationships – with God’s Love”. This is a programme which we are following at all five churches in the Camberley Group during Lent. Appropriately for today, Mother Sunday, our theme is “Love is respectful”.
We read in 1 Corinthians 13:5 that love ‘is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.’ To sum that up, we would say that it is to treat people with respect.
The definition of respect that I would like to go with is “Showing value and honour to others by your actions.”
Most people today seem to demand respect be given to them by others, but we see in Jesus that he always treated others with respect. We see this throughout his life and ministry; we see it in the gospel passage that we are looking at today.
It might be helpful to look at this from the point of view of four road signs that can guide us, signs of respect.
First Sign - Stop talking and listen.
I talk to engaged couples about the importance of communication. It is important to be assertive, to be able to ask politely and clearly for what you want. It is equally important, though, to be a good listener. This shows that you value the person who is talking to you.
Jesus was a good listener. He listened to this unnamed woman, even though in the story she never says a word. He paid close attention to her, her circumstance, who she was; Simon the Pharisee saw her as a caricature, a type.
How often would mothers wish that their children really stopped and listened when the were speaking?
Second Sign – Keep your promises.
How good it is to be a person who can be relied upon, who can be believed. The road sign is No U Turn. We promise something and we keep going, we deliver. Jesus promised this woman that her sins would be forgiven; the bible is full of promises that god ahs made to us, and the good news is that she could trust Jesus to see this promise kept, and so can we.
In our own relationships, then, we also must aim to be promise keepers. This calls for judgement and planning; we often wish to do good things for others – but we must be careful to only promise what we can deliver. We honour and value people when we keep our promises to them.
Third Sign – Yield your rights and serve others.
This is the Give Way sign. If we are surrounded by colleagues or neighbours who are determined to get ahead, be served, then we do not feel respected. But if someone puts aside their rights and offers service to you, you feel that you matter to them. The woman in the story did not dwell on her status or reputation, she quietly got on with what she felt was important, the honouring of Jesus. Sometimes we can catch ourselves feeling that we are owed something because we have done something good for another. “If I do this for you, then perhaps you will …”
The antidote to a selfish spirit is to offer service and to give way. We do this by offering common courtesy. Simon withheld from Jesus the common, usual courtesies of a foot wash and a kiss of greeting.
Another way to offer service is to do our very best for others. The woman did not pour some cheap unwanted Christmas gift over Jesus. It was expensive, deliberately so. In the same way, sacrifices in the Old Testament were not to be of substandard quality. We should aim for our worship to be of the highest standard; we are not prefect and should not condemn ourselves if we feel deficient, but at the same time we should never be slip shod, or cheap in our attitudes. Worship of God is not a fringe, optional activity for the keen.
If that is so in our relationship with God, should not also be so in our relationships with each other? We unconsciously find ourselves going to great lengths, making great efforts on behalf of people we respect and value. My prayer is that will grow into a community that will value and treat all people of every background the same.
Fourth Sign – Slow down and take time to see others in the way that God does.
You cannot see the countryside when you are whipping along at 70mph. The sign that points to the Scenic Route reminds us to take a slower, more meditative route, to soak up the scenery.
Paul says in Ephesians 4:2 “Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.”
Everyone saw the woman in the story as at best an interruption, at worst a disgrace. Jesus saw her as a worshipper, a daughter of the kingdom.
One of the privileges of being a church leader is that I get to meet many different people in a short period of time, the MP, the mayor, the widow, the school drop-out, the rough sleeper, the millionaire. Christ’s command is not just to vicars but to all followers of his son that we treat all of these with appropriate care and attention.
May our prayer each day be that we will see each person as God sees them, and treat them as honoured and valued, no matter what their background or history.
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