I wonder what picture comes into your mind when you try to visualise St Paul. I won’t try to guess, but I suspect it isn’t quite how Paul saw himself before his conversion. In our Epistle today from his first letter to Timothy, we get a fascinating flash of autobiographical detail – fresh (so to speak) from his own lips. He describes himself as “a blasphemer, a persecutor and a violent man” and then (twice) as the worst of sinners. The language is very strong and he describes a man whom, frankly, you would not want to know, let alone cross. A potential Christian? – absolutely not!
He calls himself a blasphemer, which must mean that he not only rejected outright any idea of Jesus as God’s promised Messiah, but must have used some extremely unpleasant words to describe Jesus. We get just a tiny insight into his thinking in his letter to the Galatians. It had been ingrained into him since his early lessons in the Torah, that in Deuteronomy (21:23) God had said through Moses that anyone who was hung on a tree was under God’s curse. He quotes this in Galatians 3:13 (although he draws a wonderful conclusion from it). So you have to imagine the sheer vehemence with which he must have asserted again and again that ‘Jesus was cursed by God’ when he was crucified.
He calls himself a persecutor. We read in Acts 8:3 that Paul ‘began to destroy the church. Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison.’ And his reason for undertaking that life-changing journey from Jerusalem to Damascus is described in Acts 9: 1f: Paul ‘still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples, went to the high priest and asked for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that, if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem.’
He calls himself a violent man. His murderous thoughts against Christians clearly translated into violent actions in the way he handled these men and women whom he seized them as prisoners. Who knows in what other ways his violent nature manifested itself?
We hear a lot at the moment about this woman in Iran whom they want to stone. Buried up to the neck and then pelted with rocks of a specified size so that death does not come too quickly. We don’t know whether the stoning of Stephen (as described in Acts 7) was as organised as that, or whether it was more like a spontaneous lynching. But those taking part threw off their cloaks or outer garments, so that they could hurl rocks more effectively, and left them with Paul to look after, as he stood by watching with approval. He was very close to being a murderer.
I don’t think you or I would have seen him as a potential church leader, let alone a leader who probably had more influence on the spread of the Gospel than any other single person, ever. But the risen Christ saw him in an entirely different light. We read in Acts 9:15 that Jesus said to Ananias: ‘This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.’
If ever there was a lost sheep or a lost coin, Paul was it. He was, in every sense, a ‘fully paid up’ member of God’s people. He gives us his credentials – his CV – in Philippians 3. He was a totally dedicated worshipper of God and committed member of God’s chosen people. He must have been eagerly hoping that God’s Messiah would appear.
Yet, when God’s plan came to fulfilment in Jesus, Paul refused it outright, and turned decisively against God’s purposes. Not, of course, exactly on purpose – any more than the sheep or the coin went missing on purpose – but (as he says here in 1 Timothy 1:13) through ‘ignorance and unbelief’. But entirely through grace, the risen Christ stepped in and summoned him to be his follower. What a miracle!
To the end of his life, Paul was overwhelmed by gratitude and wonder that Christ had sought him out when he was at his most violently rebellious, and - like the shepherd and the woman in Jesus’ stories – brought him back into his care, with much rejoicing in heaven.
The point of these autobiographical details here in 1 Timothy, is so that he can express his thankfulness and praise at the grace of God – grace, which is unmerited love for sinners. And now the negative and destructive elements in Paul’s character could be channelled into strength and total dedication and perseverance for the Gospel and for his Saviour, Jesus.
What are some of the things we can learn from this? For today I suggest three.
First of all, there simply couldn’t be a clearer illustration of the fact that every Christian is saved by grace, and not by our own efforts. The shepherd found the sheep, and the woman found the coin – not the other way round. Here is a wonderful affirmation in real life that God loves us so much – each one – that he comes looking for us even when we are far, far away. Surely we must have the same sense of overwhelming gratitude and praise, expressed every day and in every single aspect of our lives. Think about it as we approach Pledge Day.
Secondly, we should not be put off in our witness when someone is antagonistic to our faith – even aggressively so. How often do you read in Christian books, stories of how the most fiercely aggressive atheists have been converted quite suddenly when a Christian has had the courage to witness to them. Beneath Paul’s furious anger lay some past personal agenda which was actually very brittle. Personally I think he had been more moved by Stephen’s speech and subsequent murder than he cared to admit, and – as he travelled to Damascus – furious questions were going round and round in his mind. If people are angrily aggressive about Christianity, there is generally a reason lying somewhere in the past which is not expressed. A personal story from our own lives about the grace and love of God, and the forgiveness of sins, can sometimes break through the most unlikely façade. Perhaps we should be much bolder in our testimony – think about it as we approach Back to Church Sunday.
Thirdly, God saw in Paul huge potential, where ordinary Christians saw only hatred and aggression. When we need help in the church’s ministry, we should not just be looking at the obvious people. We all have gifts for ministry and often they are not apparent on the surface. We need to pray for spiritual discernment to see beneath the surface. And there is nothing more exciting in Christian ministry than to see a person’s unnoticed gifts blossoming beyond all possible expectations when they are encouraged and we have faith in them. I could give you so many great examples from my years in parish life. You have gifts to offer – spiritual and practical gifts – and we have so many needs. If God can make something great out of a character like Paul, just think what He could do with you! – if you are open and willing, and we are perceptive and encouraging. If all the gifts in this church were being fully exercised in the power of the Holy Spirit, this church would be transformed. Think about it. Pray about it.
In conclusion, though, let us come to Communion this morning full of thankfulness for the grace and mercy of God who has sought us out and saved us like the sheep and the coin, and lavished his love and grace on us, and brought us to faith and eternal salvation. We join with Paul here in verse 17: ‘Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen.’
ROBERT
Discussion
1. What do you understand by the term ‘Saved by Grace’? How do you think it applied to Paul? Do you think it applies to you?
2. In what different way do you think our gratitude to God can be expressed – spiritually and practically?
3. We believe that every Christian has gifts for ministry. How can these best be discerned, developed and used in our church?
4. Have you any experiences to share of someone who, previously antagonistic, has now become a Christian? Describe how this came about.
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